Windy Day

(Written April 22, 2012)  Today is a windy day in our coastal city. As I lay in bed, I can hear the wind swirling ominously between the houses in our neighborhood. It comes with its loud howl demanding attention and doing its damage, then it exits with the same intensity. For a moment, all seems calm until a familiar rustle reminds you that the wind is still there.
This made me think of the process we call grief. It has been 10 weeks since my Daddy went to heaven and on the outside life has gone on. I've fed my family three meals a day, laundry has been reluctantly folded, homework has been completed, and all seems calm...until the wind comes.
It is hard to explain exactly but a moment of grief comes to me almost like that wind that comes making tons of noise, then leaving as suddenly as it came. It can be triggered by a memory or a kind word of sympathy from a friend. It can bring a tear to my eye or can cause me to cry uncontrollably.
I'm still trying to understand what is "normal" when it comes to grief. All I know is that it is like the wind to me. It is always there. Sometimes it is the quiet breeze in the background and other days, like today, it is howling too loudly to ignore. One thing I am certain of is that I'm not alone in this journey. Just like the grief is always here, the presence of God is also always tangibly present. Sometimes God speaks comfort to me in a still small voice and other times I feel his presence as loudly as that howling wind as he reminds me that he is my Daddy.
Tomorrow will come. Lunches will be made and laundry will be folded, and I will be here desperately waiting for God's comfort to guide me through another windy day.