When You Compare, You Compete

This has been a motto in our home since we heard it a few months ago from one of our favorite pastors.  I'm not sure if it is having children that are the same gender, but my kids compare all of the time...their servings of potatoes, the amount of water in the cups I give them, and even the amount of time they get with their parents.  If I've heard "that's not fair" once, I've heard it 1,000 times.  So, when we heard this statement, it hit home.  We don't want our children comparing themselves because they are all so unique and different and have different needs.  Now, when one of my kids compares something we will all say, "When you compare, you compete and we don't compete because we are all on the same team."  Don't get me wrong, I know there are times when competition is good and necessary, but the comparative thinking I'm talking about is the battle that takes place in the mind.  I learned this all to well today.

This morning, I ran in a "Choose Your Distance" race with a friend.  Basically, you could choose the distance you wanted to run and a path was given to you, with everyone finishing at the same time and place.  Choices included 1 Mile, 5K, 10K, or 10 miles.  Everyone chose their race and ran it how they felt comfortable.  Some ran the whole way while others walked/ran.  My friend and I ran the 5K together, but even though we were there for each other, there were times that we ran at our own pace.  Since this was her first 5K and my first in years, we were super proud of ourselves when we finished.  We started and finished early (because we didn't know how long it would take us) and even got a chance to take a picture together before the rest of the ladies finished.

But my excitement was short lived.  Something happened to me as I watched all of the other participants come in.  I was so proud of each one of them, but instead of noticing the similarities we share, I started comparing myself to them.  They were so fit.  They were so fast.  They were so knowledgeable. And, I had barely pulled myself across the finish line.  I consider myself a mature, wise person and I know better, but all at once, my feeling of pride was swallowed up by my lack of confidence.  It happened in a moment and it stole my joy.  Then, the negative self talk started.  "You will never be that fast."  "Why did you even come?"  "Look how far you have to go."  Then, the tears started.  Man, it feels like every part of this weight loss journey includes tears.  It is shaping my very character.

The tears continued until I got home and took a shower.  My heart was broken and I allowed the enemy to consume my mind.  I sobbed and sobbed in the shower until one of my sons walked in and asked me if I was OK.  It was my wake up call.  I realized what I was doing so I started quoting scriptures to build up my faith.  "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength." Phil 4:13  "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in your weakness."  2 Chor 12:9  "You are the head and not the tail." Deuteronomy 28:13  

What I realized as I began to think clearly (after my hubby let me cry in his shirt) is that just like the race I ran this morning, we all have our own individual race to run in this life.  My journey is different than every single person in this world because it is exclusive to me.  I've had incredible challenges and hurts in my life, along with many triumphs.  And, if I were to talk to each one of those ladies, I would find out that each of them has a story.  Each of them has experienced disappointments and defeats, and each has enjoyed success in some area.  

Comparing myself to others only brings division and is destructive.  It will only allow the enemy a way to take away to beauty of what God is doing in me.  My weight loss path is individual.  It may take longer than others and it will require that I do things differently than others.  Never the less, it is mine.  It is drawing me closer to my maker and is making me realize that I need him more than ever.  He has loved me unconditionally through every stage of my life and my heart's desire is to make my "Daddy" proud. 

"Let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that easily trips us up.  And, LET US RUN WITH ENDURANCE THE RACE GOD HAS SET BEFORE US."  Hebrews 12:1

Me, a Workout Mom? NO WAY!

With 4 children under the age of 10, I've done my time in the preschool scene.  We've done Dr. Seuss week countless times, book fairs, orientations and end of the year parties.  I have necklaces made out of flowers, pasta, and beads and we've celebrated the 100th day of school by counting candy, paper clips, cereal, and even Lego men.  Let's just say, we've done the preschool thing and we've enjoyed every bit of it.

During my many hours in the car drop-off and pick-up line, I've noticed that we preschool moms can be classified into 3 categories:  Head-to-toe Mom, Workout Mom, and Survival mom.

(Before I go too far, can you guess which one I consider myself to be?)

Head-to-Toe Mom:  Every preschool has at least one of these moms.  You know her, the mom who gets out of her car to walk in her darling with every hair in place, full makeup, and cute sandals (not flip-flops) that actually match her adorable outfit. She's groomed and looks great.  Many times I've looked out of my window and imagined her rushing to/from her part-time job, trying to make a little money before she picked up her little one for the afternoon.  Who knows what her story is.  Whether or not she's working or just takes pride in her appearance.  All I know is that there is 100% chance that she wakes up at least an hour before I do every morning.

Workout Mom:  Seems to me like this kind of mom is gaining more popularity these days.  Workout moms, you know who you are!  You can spot a workout mom because they wear their sneakers and running shorts, and usually a pony tail.  Preschool offers the workout mom a chance to take a few minutes to exercise and feel better about herself.  She's the kind of mom who works hard to keep herself in shape and curiously looks better in her workout clothes than the Head-to-Toe mom looks in her work clothes.

Survival Mom:  Yep, you guessed it...I'm a Survival Mom extraordinaire.  Oh, the Survival Mom. You've gotta love her!  She's the kind of mom that wakes up just in time to get her little ones fed, dressed, and out the door.  She's not hard to identify because she is usually wearing a pair of sweat pants or jeans that she pulled on seconds before she got in the minivan, along with flip-flops and a slightly messy pony tail.  Teeth brushing is optional but she usually has a cup of coffee in her hand.  God Bless the Survival Mom.  She's doing her best, but is super busy and doesn't always take time to take care of herself.

I've always considered myself a Survival Mom, but this classification has been challenged lately.  You see, I started working out with some awesome "Workout Moms" about 5 weeks ago through Jacksonville Stroller Strength.  Surprisingly, I've found myself wearing workout clothes while dropping my kids off at school (I still have a slightly messy pony tail though).  I'm enjoying working out so much and am loving that my little guys get a chance to see their mom getting strong and healthy.  I am getting to know other moms who value health and who are intelligent, encouraging, and incredibly kind.

In the last 5 weeks, I've had to repent for every classifying preschool moms in any way.  When it comes down to it, we are all moms.  On any given day we could be any one of the three moms above.  The Workout Mom may have a sick kid and find herself at home in those flip flops just trying to survive.  The Head-to-Toe Mom might enjoy her day off by going for a much needed run in the park with her kiddos.  And, the Survival Mom.  Well, she might even pull out that lip gloss out of the bottom of her purse for a teacher conference or lunch date with her hubby.  

Whether we put a greater emphasis on health, looks, or sleep, when it comes down to it, we're all doing our best to take care of our families while taking care of ourselves. Moms, in any package, are the strength of their families.  It's not an easy job, but it's the best job in the world and the benefits are eternal.