Lesson Learned

I found out a little tid-bit after a fun-filled day at the beach yesterday.  Asians boys can get a sunburn.  I guess I've known this all along but we've been blessed that none of our boys has gotten too burnt over the years.  However, yesterday's marathon beach trip proved that it is possible, and one of our little guys is hurting today.  He's been miserable and pitiful all day.

Since he has slept most of the afternoon, I asked one of his brothers to help him out a bit.  My boys alternate days unloading the dishwasher so I asked the well kid to switch days with the hurting kid.  Honestly, I expected him to be flooded with compassion and jump on the chance to bless his brother, but I was sadly disappointed.  

He quickly rejected the idea and walked away.  I was shocked that he had missed an opportunity to bless his brother. As I began to get angry, I prepared my rapid-fire speech on serving others that included such statements as "Didn't I teach you better than this?" and "Are you kidding me?"  

I was tightening my seat belt from the top of my soapbox and preparing for a lecture when God stopped me in my tracks.  

He reminded me of all the opportunities that I miss on a daily basis.  The times when I fail to extend grace to my husband or fail to show patience to my boys.  He reminded me of the times when He has asked me to bless someone, but I chose not to because I was too busy or tired.  

My heart melted for my son as I felt the love God extends to us when He sees us struggling to build our character.  It can not be easy for God to see us reject his perfect plan and fail daily.  But, as all parents know, it is a part of growing and learning.  

So, I will extend grace to him this time because God told me to.  

I will wait and pray.  Pray for God to convict his heart.  Pray for the right opportunity to talk to him about this at a later time.  I will pray for his future and the wife he will have some day. 

And, I'll thank God for the mercy He extends to us daily as we try to figure out this parenting thing.

  

Valentine's Day - Smalentine's Day

So, Valentine's Day to me is not like it is to most.  Valentine's Day is one where I wish I didn't have social media.  Let's just say that my husband, as sweet as he is, is not what I would call Romantic.  If I were to put it in hyper-spiritual terms, I would say that Romanticism is not his Spiritual Gift.  And, even when he tries really hard, he sometimes misses the mark.  I try to forget the fake flowers and crystal figures of the early years of our marriage, and the time he made me eggs on Mother's Day just like HE likes them...over easy with garlic and soy sauce.

For years, I pouted, begged, and tried to coach my sweetie into being romantic.  I even encouraged my girlfriends to drop "hints" on things that I would love to have for special days.  When it comes down to it, I felt sorry for myself.  I looked around and compared my husband to others.  And, when I did that I stole from the value of who he is.

He's Unique.

He's Amazing.

He works from home with his door open so that the boys can come to him any time they need him.

He takes the boys to school most mornings in his pajamas.

He wakes up early to read the word and pray for his family.

He unloads the dishwasher for me everyday.

He throws the football, kicks the soccer ball, and jumps on the trampoline with the boys every afternoon.

He sweeps the floor in the kitchen after we eat.

Even though he rarely washes the van, he cleans out the wrappers and trash almost daily from the inside.

He provides a comfortable lifestyle for his family.

He supports me in everything I want to do, even when it costs money.

He's a great son, brother, and leader.

I could go on and on and on....his strengths are endless.

Thanks to my precious best friend offering to babysit, we will be going on a date tonight.  I may or may not get flowers.  I may or may not get chocolate from my husband.  (I already bought some for myself so I'm OK in that area!)  I probably won't get a thoughtful gift.  But, I will get time with my beloved.

When I look at the list above, I realize that the gift he gives us is his time.  And, when I focus on that, I cannot feel sorry for myself because that gift is priceless.